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Before you call the wedding planner – Funke Egbemode

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Marriage is becoming a risky business by the hour. Instead of enlarging the family, it is reducing it. When your son or daughter marries, you expect grandchildren as dividends. Now, your initial investment gets liquidated in a pool of blood, without recourse to you. One infuriated sick and weak girl just grabs a kitchen knife and carves up your son in a flash, ripping out your heart and dreams of being surrounded by happiness in your old age. One silly boy in a moment of uncontrollable blinding fury stabs your daughter in the throat, leaving you reeling in that kind of pain no parent can recover from. Wives killing their husbands. Husbands killing their wives. How did our innocent babies become murderers? How did we miss it? What did we do wrong, or failed to do that is filling our doorsteps with shoes of mourners and our once happy homes with wailings and gnashing of teeth? Did the Bible not promise that our children will surround our tables and that we will not cast our young? So, what is going on? It is bad enough that more and more young marriages are failing. It is already a sad testimony that more women are becoming breadwinners and telling our sons when to snore in their own beds. But this added blood and gore and loss and unending pain… Or are you not worried?

Sure, the latest tragedies happened far from you but they are really closer than you think. If you still think these recent spousal murders do not really concern you, take a look at your daughter, your son and tell yourself you can vouch for the spouses they will end up with. And if your children are already in their 20s and of marriage age, swear you are not a teensy bit concerned about the suitors milling around them. That fine-boy-no-pimples full of smiles and politeness, does he have anger issues? Is he a keeper, a reaper or a taker? That babe who is already calling your son ‘Ayo mi’ (my joy) or ‘honey’, can you trust her with your greatest treasure, your brilliant caring son?

There is no retirement age for parents. We are parents for life. Our job is cut out for us and we must do it with all our heart and might. There is really no short cut. This is our calling until we are called home by He who chose us for this assignment as daddies and mummies. Of course, the temptation to hand over our daughters and our parenting jobs over to our in-laws the day we give them out in marriage will always be there. But it is a temptation we must resist as soon as the effects of red wine champagne wears off. Yeah. Wine-carrying, celebrated destination wedding ceremonies with the captains of industry and 10 governors in attendance is what it is, just another party. The marriage itself begins the following day. And let’s not forget that the young bride and groom had lived a protected life up until their wedding day. They were chauffeured to primary and secondary schools, assisted in picking their universities. Their NYSC postings were arranged by daddy. Their first jobs too via daddy’s connections. This is the first time they would be taking huge steps on their own. They probably will still be using daddy’s mechanic and mummy’s travel agent and caterer. Don’t bother denying it. We are all guilty of over-parenting. We all look forward so much to the days our children will get married that we forget there are things we must do, that is, beyond the small chops and assorted meals from here to China.

Raise your hand if you did a proper background check on your son’s wife before the wedding. Seriously? Yeah.

Let me stress this point then. You must investigate your daughter’s suitor, your son’s intended. Don’t be overly excited by the diamond ring he gave her or the rich family she comes from. You must do your research. You must ensure you are not handing over your treasure to a pig who’ll go play in the mud with it. Most parents hardly ever do that background check before calling the wedding planner. Is he abusive? Does she throw flower vases at television sets? Does his father beat his mother? Is her mother cantankerous? Before you fix the wedding date, make sure you are not funding a ceremony that will put your child in an early grave. That is the pre-wedding warning.

However, marriage is the critical point. While I think it is a sin to meddle in your children’s marriage, I also think it is a crime to push our children into the deep end of the pool without providing life jackets. Parents should let new couples totter, falter, fall even but be there to help them back on their feet. Watch from a distance but watch you must, keenly, discreetly, wisely. The fear of failure and what the society would say make a lot of new couples die in silence. Without being intrusive, nudge your daughter or daughter-in-law to speak freely. Call her to accompany you to a party you don’t want to attend alone. Start a topic that will help her open up. It could be a new television series, a movie with a relationship or marriage theme. And being a busy politician or high flying executive is not an excuse. I open such topics with my girls while they are helping me pick an evening dress, do my make-up or while we are watching a movie that I had picked for that purpose. I have also had such intimate talks with my son as he drove us to church.

Fathers, let your son-in-law accompany you to events, golf course, church, mosque. What’s wrong with an occasional barber-date together? Get your grooming Saturday in sync. It helps you see through what they may be trying to hide without asking probing questions. You have gained an extra child and that should be an advantage.

Stop by unannounced occasionally too and make such visits brief, very brief. Take along gifts. Those unannounced visits help you to catch them without rehearsed speeches. Hug the wife, she will wince or grunt if she has been kicked or punched. Does she have puffy eyes, discoloured cheeks or walking with a limp? If every time you go there, there is always a story why a piece of furniture is broken or cracked, one of them may be violent, hurling coffee mugs at the television or kicking flower vases.

And if you discover that one of them is abusive, don’t expect them to sort it out on their own or with their pastor. An abusive wife or husband is a sick person. He needs help. She needs to see the appropriate doctor, it is an emergency. If the abusive partner refuses to get help, retrieve the one that belongs to you to safety. My mother used to counsel that a safe small corner on earth is better than a big space in the grave. You cannot fold your arms and hope she will stop slapping your son while she graduates to stabbing him. If he has pushed her down the staircase once and you leave her there, who will you blame when your church elders arrive with sober faces to break the news of your daughter?

Of course I know my pastor, and many other pastors reading this, will object to my ‘retrieve-your-child’ solution but I prefer my pastor chides me to him telling me ‘it is well’ later. God forbid. If a sick spouse gets help, the marriage can get back on track and everybody gets a chance to live happily ever after. And read the Bible too.

Interview

NAUB: MR PRESIDENT, WHO ARE THOSE PLANNING TO KILL THE ONLY FEDERAL UNIVERSITY THAT DOES NOT GO ON STRIKE?

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By femi Oyewale

 

 

Higher education in Nigeria, quite frankly, is facing immense challenges including but not limited to poor infrastructure, unrealistic academic calendars resulting in extra years against stipulated durations, lack of teaching equipment, social menace, poor funding, amongst others.

 

 

 

Interestingly, Nigerian Army University, Biu (NAUB) is quite unique from other federal universities in the sense that since inception, there has not been any issue of strike, cultism, protest, or anti-social conduct.

Rather, the university is reputed for its excellent condition of learning environment.

 

This was aptly covered by the Governor of Borno State, H.E Professor Babagana Umara Zulum through his deputy during the maiden edition of the convocation ceremony of NAUB on Saturday, October 28th, 2023 at the University’s main campus ( note not temporary campus within five years of existence) in Biu, Borno State.

 

 

 

The Borno State governor said he was physically present at the groundbreaking ceremony of the foundation laying stone of NAUB five years ago, and he is impressed by what he has seen adding that it must take military precision and focus to put in a full-fledged and functional university on a barren land in such a short period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Governor further thanked the Federal Government, the Nigerian Army, the traditional rulers, scholars and academics philanthropist, industrialists, associates and men and women of goodwill from within and outside Borno State for the selfless service of gradually re-modelling the future of Borno State in particular and Nigeria in general and for putting Borno State on the path of further greatness through the Nigerian Army university, Biu.

 

Why then do we plan to abort such a great independent institution of learning known as a barrier breaker and line crosser by merging it with NDA whose missions and visions are not in tandem with each other

Why cut short the dreams of such noble ideas via politics?

 

Are there those who do not want a stable educational system in Nigeria?

Are there external forces or their agents at home trying to destroy a good foundation for a stable educational system in Nigeria?

Is NAUB in competition with the private universities?

Are there big shots who benefit from a chaotic educational system in Nigeria?

 

Are there some subterranean forces working within the system to achieve the Boko Haram objective that “education is sin”?

 

 

 

The words of Governor Zulum rings a wise bell when he said that Boko Haram insurgents have achieved their objectives if the university is scrapped.

 

 

 

 

 

“Therefore, we appeal to Mr. President to look into this issue so that the Army University Biu would remain a university… because of the importance of education in this part of the country, where Boko Haram is saying that education is forbidden. And I think that by allowing this Army university to be scrapped, they might have achieved one or two of their objectives,” he said.

 

The governor noted that, for over a decade, Borno State has been facing a serious crisis that has denied many children access to education.

 

“Therefore, this university is very important to not only the people of Borno State but our neighbouring states,” he said.

 

 

 

Look at the Western countries that started with military polytechnics that propelled revolution in military equipment development.

 

Many of these developed countries collaborated jointly through civil-military research.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Swedish Defence University established like NAUB is Sweden’s leading resource in, and first choice for, education, training and research in the management of crisis, war and periods of tension in the leadership of both civil and military agencies. The Swedish Defence University is an accredited institution for academic education for military and civilian students and researchers where different experiences, approaches, and traditions come together. It has become a hub for both national and international students.

 

 

 

 

 

It might shock you to know that American Military University (AMU) and American Public University (APU). APUS is wholly owned by American Public Education, Inc., a publicly traded private-sector corporation that offers associates, bachelors, masters, and doctoral degrees, in addition to dual degrees, certificate programs and learning tracks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During my NYSC, I served in the Nigerian Army School of Education (NASE), Ilorin, which is a renowned military institution focused on providing high-quality education and training for Nigerian Army personnel and civilians. So why the proposed merger of NAUB?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interestingly, the Nigerian Army University Biu provides such a platform for the Nigerian military towards technological innovation, research, and development in varied fields for national defence and security breakthroughs like many modern nations. In fact, instead of downgrading the Nigerian Army University, many more Army universities should be established in Nigeria. That is the way out for a caricature type of educational system that has failed to have stability over the years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who is not interested in seeing that a federal university graduates its students within the regular course time frame?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Must programmes of all federal universities be easily disrupted. A course of 4 or 5 years ends up taking over 6 to 7 years to complete. The worst part is that many universities end up in a crash programme to be able to cover up for the lost times. The terrible damage to these universities’ products is the very low standard of graduates.

 

Who wants the Nigerian educational system to collapse completely? These are rhetorical questions the amiable president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and all stakeholders should ask those proposing the merger to answer us publicly, else should let the matter die forever in the abyss of hasty decision.

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Interview

Tunji Ojo Has No Case To Answer” – Shehu Sanni 

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Former Kaduna Central Senator, Shehu Sani, says Minister of Interior, Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo, has no case to answer regarding the contract awarded to a company linked to him by suspended Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Betta Edu.

Sani, in a chat with The Whistler, said Tunji-Ojo did not violate any public service law since he resigned from the company years ago.

 

” It could have been a conflict of interest if he hadn’t resigned.

The senator further said it is “not his ministry (that awarded contracts), and companies have the right to pursue businesses anywhere.

“Edu’s case is very clear and can’t be equated with that of a company associated with Hon Ojo.

“Legally, he can’t be held to account on this matter.

“Let’s not be distracted,” Sani said.

“The extant provision of the law under the 1999 Constitution is that anybody who is a public servant cannot engage in any business other than farming,” said Nelson Kebordih, a senior lawyer whose interest is in public policy.

He said the implication of the law is “that a person must be in active control and directorship of the company in the management of any enterprise.

“You are permitted to own shares because owning a share does not put you in the day-to-day management of the company or any enterprise.

“If he (Tunji-Ojo) has resigned from being a director, the law does not stop him from owning shares in the company,” he stated.

The former lawmaker’s position aligns with the 2008 Federal Service Rules on Chapter 4 which states that “Public officers are not prohibited from holding shares in both public and private companies operating in Nigeria or abroad except that they must not be Directors in private companies, and may only be Directors in public companies if nominated by Government.”

 

Following the suspension and quizzing of Edu, concerning alleged financial sleaze, the Minister of Interior has come under pressure to resign or equally be suspended by the president after it emerged that his company, New Planet Project Ltd, also received a contract from Edu.

Edu had awarded some companies contracts, some of which were unregistered with the Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) raising concern of fraud and illegality.

Tunji-Ojo is also being pressured to step down with many commentators saying he has flouted the Public Service Rules which barred public servants from being awarded contracts or contracting any business except farming.

But the Minister while speaking on television explained that he had resigned since 2009 from the company.

“Almost five years ago, I resigned as director of the company, so I’m not a director. I resigned on 1st of February, 2009, you can take that to the bank,” the minister had said.

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Interview

‘The Coleman Wires and Cables Business Story is a Journey From Grass to Grace’

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On the sidelines of the 12th Practical Nigerian Content (PNC) organized by the Nigeria Content Development and Monitoring Board (NCDMB), Mr. George Onafowokan, the Managing Director/CEO of Coleman Technical Industries Limited, a leading Nigerian brand manufacturer of wires and cables, shared secrets to his business success amid recent national and global economic challenges. Onafowokan maintains that as a Nigerian, one can start a small business and grow organically into a big global competitor…..

 

What do you mean when you said Coleman Wires and Cable’s story is one of “grass to grace”?

 

Coleman Wires and Cable was registered as a company in 1975, but we began as a small-scale business in 1996. In 2021, we had to restructure our operations to overcome the setbacks we faced from the beginning, and that’s when I became the Managing Director.

Our story is one of grassroots to grace. Through investing time and effort over the years, we were able to systematically grow from a micro-small company into a small, medium, large, and extremely large company in terms of size. Our business vision started small, but we strategically expanded it. Please note, our aim was not to become the largest company, but it began with the goal of being the preferred wires and cable choice for Nigerians in terms of quality.

Subsequently. we found that every Nigerian preferred locally made cables over the foreign imported ones. So, the question of why we can’t build a company capable of servicing the entire nation and the global market arose; with this, our vision expanded. We progressed from a humble factory to a ripple plant that became the largest in West Africa at the time it was built. Starting out from 20,000 square meters, we expanded to 30,000 square meters and further into the Shagamu plant, which began with over 100,000 and has grown to over 350,000 square meters today.

We diversified into other products, such as high-voltage cables, and we became the first in the country and in West Africa. This achievement made Nigeria the fifth country in the world to produce such cables. Today, more than fifty percent of Coleman’s products are not produced by any other company in Nigeria, West Africa, and most parts of sub-Saharan Africa. This accomplishment is a testament to the story developed by a predominantly 99 percent Nigerian team. It illustrates that it is possible to be Nigerian and organically grow into a global competitor.

Could you provide some insight into your personal background for the readers?

Certainly! I am George Onafowokan, the second generation of the Onafowokan family, born into the distinguished lineage of Asiwaju Solomon Kayode Onafowokan. He is currently the second Asiwaju of Remo, succeeding Chief Obafemi Awolowo, and is well-regarded as a business mogul. Personally, I am a family man with a spouse and children.

I pursued my first degree in Accounting and Finance in the UK, followed by a postgraduate degree in Information and Management. With a penchant for improving processes and a dedication to giving back, I often find myself engrossed in thoughts on how to enhance various aspects of life.

Having witnessed the success of companies I’ve mentored in Nigeria, I am committed to building the capacity of individuals and small to medium-scale businesses. My guiding principle, which I consider my calling, is to contribute to the growth and improvement of others over time.

Reflecting on my upbringing, my father’s journey serves as a true “grass to grace” story. From humble beginnings in a one-bedroom apartment, he worked his way up to become well-educated and stand out among his peers. However, my perspective evolved when, at the age of twelve, my aunt imparted valuable advice. She encouraged me to cease complaining and adopt the mindset that my parents served as vessels for me to enter the world. Once in the world, their responsibility concluded. Embracing this philosophy, I no longer felt entitled to my parents’ resources and committed to earning everything I needed. This mentality shaped my life principle—I don’t expect anyone to owe me anything. Consequently, I work diligently, understanding that neither a “yes” nor a “no” signifies offense or entitlement.

 

Was Coleman Wires and Cables your first business?

No, Coleman was not my first business; it is a family business. I started my own business when I was young. At the age of sixteen, I ventured into my first wine business. By the time I completed university, I had my own business in the UK, specializing in financing and exporting to Nigeria using containers. My initial entry into the cable business involved supplying raw materials, and coincidentally, one of my main clients was Coleman.

You spoke about replicating yourself; how can one access mentorship opportunities from you?

 

I am one of those who don’t believe that you can run a business as a one-man show. Therefore, you have to build human capacity in every way, integrate it into your structure, empower the people around you, and let them handle their responsibilities. Personally, I have built a team around what I do. I started in a business where I handled every department myself, but today, I am not involved in those tasks anymore.

Most importantly, I empower them to effectively perform their jobs and give them a sense of belonging, so they feel that their contributions have value.

In many companies in Nigeria, you often find that the Managing Director or CEOs are the only individuals making decisions, while the rest are mere yes-ma or yes-sir. I wouldn’t run a business that way.

Are there mentorship opportunities for people outside your current team?

No, we have not fully structured it for everyone; we currently have a limited number, mostly for individuals already in the industry. However, from my work with the LCCI mentoring group and my team, I have found that what most people generally need is a simple understanding and mentoring to discover what aspects of their life or history they could improve upon or learn from.

What has Coleman been doing with the NCDMB?

For us, we are a success story of the Nigeria Content Development and Monitoring Board (NCDMB) because we have been working with the board since 2017. Prior to that, in 2008, I met with Senator Lee Maeba, who led the private bill for the local content law before it became an act in 2010. I could see the passion in the man when he talked about the whole idea, and from that passion, we took action. “Taking action” means we started putting our money where our mouth is, began examining areas in the law that affect business and expanding capacity, and we have succeeded in doing so. Over the years, it has been challenging to break into these oil and gas companies, but we have managed to do so. We primarily supply cables to their vendors, without handling any installation. We supply for NLNG projects, Shell, and Mobile. We have been able to provide cables that have never been produced by any other company in Nigeria.

 

In the face of business and economic setbacks, Coleman expanded. What did you do differently?

First, I think we took a strategic position to ensure our ability to continue operations. Second, we minimized our losses and restructured our capacity. One month before the Covid-19 shutdown, we had submitted a request for restructuring with our banks. We had slowed down, scrutinized all our positions, and had already started reducing the size of our business. By the time we entered the Covid-19 pandemic, we operated with the same number of staff for about a year. After Covid-19 started easing, we increased the number of staff. Therefore, we were somewhat prepared for Covid-19, and over the years in our business, we had already trained specific capacity. During Covid-19, we were able to build two factories without anyone coming from abroad. Covid-19 has, in a way, compelled everyone to enhance their in-country capacity.

In your panel discussion, you mentioned that the NCDMB should replicate the success in the petroleum industry in manufacturing. So, in concrete terms, what are you looking for to happen?

 

Replicating success in manufacturing means being intentional with manufacturers, ensuring that they perform well because there are not a lot of manufacturers. We need to be more deliberate, encourage more factories, open more businesses here, and manufacture goods instead of just assembling them. That is the focus I am emphasizing. There should be a deliberate action to build local capacity.

 

What is the future for Coleman?

 

The future for Coleman is still very bright. The opportunities have not stopped. We have two or three projects that are still ongoing, which will be finished by the first quarter of next year. The copper and aluminum factories are underway, the fiber-2 project, the expansion and completion of the Shagamu project, and our power project to increase our capacity from 16 to 24 megawatts. We are also looking to supply around West and Central Africa going forward in the next year, and later on, in East Africa. Our export plan is quite extensive, and we hope to see significant figures coming out of it, apart from Nigeria.

I believe we need to trust in the opportunities that abound in Nigeria, and in time, we are all going to reap the benefits. Regardless of the situation, Nigeria still finds its way to continue growing; and if given peace and the chance by the government, we would most likely see an upward swing in businesses by 2025.

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